#9 – How To Enjoy Your Last Days Of Pre-Parenthood (& a message to my baby)

The end is nigh. Like, really nigh. It’s come around so quickly that I actually don’t remember where the time has gone. It seems like only yesterday I was looking at the remaining 246 days of pregnancy and thinking “man, that’s a lifetime away”… which now seems silly because it literally has been the duration of my baby’s lifetime to date. Duh.


But with the end so close I feel stuck in a very strange mentality. One half of me is excited, over joyed, relieved and comforted. The other half a nervous wreck that wants to hit pause because I’m not quite ready to meet this little creation through fear of messing it up. I’m sure it’s a very normal mindset but jeesh, it’s no less of a head fuck.


At this late stage in pregnancy Bjorn and I are ready. We’ve done all our classes, the kids clothes are all washed and ready, the hospital bags are packed, my colostrum is harvested and frozen and the IsoFix seat has been fitted in the car (which means the front passenger seat now sits more upright than a RyanAir Economy seat).


So now what? We wait. We just wait.


Tick tock tick tock.




Catch a flick!

We started with a trip to the cinema because Bjorn and I go all the time and I think it will be sorely missed when the baby arrives. Although I’ve looked at the parent and child screenings and I can totally get on board with a kids film, I’m not keen on the idea of other people’s children making noise through it so we might just have to smuggle our baby into a normal screening under a big jumper. Joke. (Or is it.)

P.S. A Star Is Born is INCREDIBLE. I think baby likes Gaga.


Get your giggle on.

(Whats with the stripes guys?)

Bjorn is a massive Ricky Gervais fan and it just so happened he was doing a small warm up show the week before our due date, so we wangled tickets and hoped for no inappropriate jokes about babies. It was so nice to go out together, laugh a lot and have a few drinks (pretend alcoholic ones pleeeease) and it’s a great gig (if you like Gervais)… but there were A LOT of inappropriate jokes about babies.

Is it bad that I still laughed?…

Money an issue? Get on Netflix and watch a stand up show on there. There’s tons!

Don’t have Netflix?… I can’t help you.


Tick something off your wish list.

I’d wanted to see The Book Of Mormon on the Westend for years and felt like being 9 months pregnant was as good of an excuse as any to spend ridiculous money on two tickets. Even when you’re view is slightly obstructed by a really tall German lady who laughs very loudly… which to my relief, became rather contagious and I actually think the whole show was funnier for having her in the audience. The point is – if there’s something you’ve wanted to do and it’s safe to do when pregnant, what are you waiting for?


Have a treatment.

Now I’m not saying I’m NOT going to do this when the baby arrives, but being this pregnant is physically demanding so having someone rub oil over you is even more lovely. And makes you forget about being pregnant for a solid 50 minutes which, let me tell you, is a miracle. First, I went to see a friend of mine (LJ Sports Therapy, www.ljsportstherapy.co.uk) for a full body pregnancy massage, which was heavenly and eased some of the strain on my back. Then, a few days later with a discount voucher in hand, went for reflexology which I’ve never had before but was about the most relaxed I’ve been in months, I even bought one of the oils for my labour bag as the smell alone was giving me all kinds of good vibes.

Money still an issue? Emotionally blackmail a friend or family member into rubbing you up a bit by telling them you’re thinking of naming the unborn after them.


Do something “normal”.

This is good for the heart and the mind. Think of something you used to love doing pre pregnancy, and see if you can’t still do it. It might be a class you used to attend, or a hobby you liked. For me, I’ve missed performing through my pregnancy so I decided to orchestrate a little filming day. I wrote a super short scene about a pregnant character, borrowed a location and roped some friends in for cast and crew (thankfully no emotional blackmail needed) and WHAM, we made a little short film. Quite an achievement (a.k.a. risk) considering it was 10 days before my due date!










All these little outings and treats were brilliant and made me feel like I’d made the most of the final “solo” time, but also made me more excited to meet our baby, because although we won’t be able to do all our favourite things in quite the same way, the little person is going to force us to do new things that we’d otherwise not do!… Like going to a baby sensory class, which would be super weird if you didn’t have a baby.


Final thought;

With only a few days to go until my due date, tonight in the bath I decided to have a conversation with my bump. You might have been doing this all along; and if so I’m pretty sure you will have felt silly… I mean, it’s not like you get a response or can actually explain anything to someone in your womb that has literally NO life experience yet. But I’m talking about a frank, matter of fact, one sided conversation to the bloated belly. The kind like in films when they say “you might want to have a seat”. Because we’re down to the wire now so I felt a little open honesty was needed between the sprog and myself. It went well I think, and went something like this…

“Hey, little one. I’m your mum right? Which basically means you have to listen to what I say for at least the next 18 years. That’s a lot of pressure on me so you can make this whole thing a lot easier by just going with it and not protesting OK?… If you don’t respond I’m going to take it as a yes… OK?… Ok great. So basically there’s something you might not have yet realised about your situation, and that is that it’s going to drastically change very very soon. I mean change beyond what you can even imagine right now, and it’s going to be pretty scary and weird for you… I almost feel a bit sorry for you but trust me when I say my part isn’t a hoot either. But I’m telling you now so when it happens you don’t have to worry, because I’m going to be there the whole time and it’s all going to be just fine as long as we both stay calm and work together. All you need to do is “go with the flow”, an expression I’ll explain to you when you’re older. So yeh, just trust me, and I promise it’ll be the beginning of you’re biggest adventure. Plus you get to meet your dad and he’s pretty bloody cool.”

…Tick tock tick tock…

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